It has been so long since I've posted on my blog that I almost couldn't remember how to log in. When classes resumed, my life got so busy and stressful that I haven't finished more than a couple of projects. However, last night I realized something that really reset my perspective. I usually knit to relax, help relieve stress, and to enjoy myself. However, I have been turning away from my knitting over and over again because the lace is too complicated for my tired mind and eyes. Last night, we were passing by a Michael's, and I suddenly decided that I needed something. I went in and bought a ball of wool and some aluminum straights, and cast on a garter stitch scarf on the spot. After knitting about ten rows, I had everything all figured out.
I am officially resigning from the Ten Shawls in 2010 Challenge. When I started working on that scarf, I had red flags waving in my brain, telling me that I'd never get the four remaining shawls done if I wasted my time making something else. I beat myself up about it for a while, and then realized that the whole reason that I knit has gone out the window for the past few months, all because I've been pressuring myself over this challenge.
This school year has been the most stressful one yet, and I certainly don't need to be spending my free time freaking out about having to knit four more shawls before midnight on New Year's Eve. Also, I'd rather work at my own pace on complex shawls that I love than churn out four more simple ones just for the sake of completing the challenge--that's not what it's about. So, instead of trying all the way to the end and failing, I am acknowledging that this is what is best for me and my mental health, and I am making my garter stitch scarf. After that, I'm dreaming of mittens and socks and maybe a sweater. The moment I gave myself permission to stop stressing over the shawls, I remembered why I love to knit.
So, I'm going to return to the stress-relieving creative outlet that knitting is supposed to be. I don't know why I took so long to figure this out. I feel better already.
Look for some posts soon with older projects that haven't made it up yet. I hope that everyone is well, and that at least a few people still check my blog!