Victory

Esperanza is complete. I have three rows of plain knitting, and then I cast off. I can't believe she's done. It's been hours of work, and I'm so happy with the result, so far. I can't wait to see her blocked! Completing Esperanza is extremely meaningful for me. I cast her on as a symbol of hope, and as she grew, so did I. Things are so much better in my life than they were the day I cast her on, and it's so wonderful to have a physical manifestation of all of the work that went into that change. I can't wait to share pictures of her, completely finished. My Green Hope has grown into something truly lovely.

Real Life

I've spent a lot of time lately on Katie's blog. I've been a reader of her blog for quite some time, but lately I've found that I relate to her more than ever. She's just moved across the country with her husband and her brand-new baby boy, and she's adjusting to a very different environment. But the main reason that I've become more interested in her blog is that she is not only a knitter, but also a baker. I wasn't very interested in baking before I moved to Chicago. The idea interested me, but actually baking something involved trying to use my mother's kitchen, which stressed her out far too much to be worth it. While I knew that I was looking forward to cooking meals, I was surprised by an overwhelming urge to bake when we arrived in Chicago, where I had my own oven. Since then, I've been experimenting with a couple of cookie recipes, and gradually attaining baking supplies on our very tight budget. My collection of baking paraphernalia consisted of two cookie sheets and a mixing bowl.

Until today, that is.

My friend Angela, who has been living in Chicago for a few years now, is moving to New York and getting married. She offered us an air conditioning unit and some furniture a while back, which we gratefully bought from her at an excellent price. However, as I sat in bed last night, looking at recipes and lamenting my general lack of proper baking/kitchen supplies, Angela sent me a Facebook message. Ben and I dropped by her place again today, and by this afternoon, my kitchen table looked like this:

I died. Look at it all. I now have two cake pans, a mini-muffin pan, a whisk, cheese grater, TWO potato mashers (one of which I bet could double as a pastry cutter), that gorgeous old blue pot, and so much more! Plus, she gave me a kettle, which means I can store the coffee maker that I was using to heat water for tea, and we can use that prime spot on top of the fridge for the toaster she gave us! Best of all--I got a hand mixer!!! I spent the afternoon reorganizing my cabinets, and tomorrow I'm going to do some baking with my new supplies, including a batch of cookies to thank Angela for her kindness. I also picked up some essential baking ingredients at the store today, so my cookie/cake repertoire is going to grow.

So, anyway, Katie's blog is full of both knitting AND baking, so it's been a pretty awesome place to read about two of my favorite creative outlets. I found her "recipes" tab last night, and I am really excited about making pretty much all of that deliciousness. Plus, now I have the tools to do so! Yay!

Though her blog, I was led to Joy the Baker, which is an awesome baking blog, with a freaking ton of recipes. I spent a lot of the afternoon on her blog (I got *nothing* accomplished today that didn't have to do with cooking) and wound up finding several amazing things, like this pizza recipe that I'm making as soon as I buy yeast, and this post from yet another amazing blog, Helen Jane.

I think this blog post changed my whole line of thinking about my blog. I was already on the verge of a change, but this really pushed me over the edge. She's totally right--there are so many blogs that are about how people want to be, or how people should be, instead of how people are. I think that's been the big hang-up for me with blogging--I am a person who worries tremendously about how I'm perceived, and that's led to some huge blocks while blogging. I've left out anything that could make "weird" or...whatever. I've struggled to write because I've put so many blocks on what I could write about. I stressed about sticking to the knitting theme, about whether or not people even read this blog--but it doesn't matter. I write it. That's what matters. Real life is what matters. And today, for the first time in a long time, real life is totally satisfactory to me. My favorite blogs are written by people who share who they really are, so that's something I'm going to be trying to do from now on. I gave the blog a little makeover, too, because it was looking a little dreary to me. I also changed my username to my actual name--I used to have things to hide from, but I think that being genuine is the key for me now.

So, after I got my cabinets organized and looked at some cookie recipes for tomorrow, I cooked a very special dinner. Ben and I have two very good friends who moved to Alaska right before we moved to Chicago, and we miss them like crazy. When we used to go hang out at their house, they'd cook a giant batch of Chicken Alfredo. I'm only willing to call it by that title because A) It's what they called it and B) They technically started with an Alfredo sauce base. However, after that, it completely strayed from the path of Alfredo-ness. Josh and Teni like very, very spicy food. So do we, so we let them go hog-wild with the cayenne pepper. Also, they always used bowtie pasta when they made the dish, so you wind up with a big plate of ooey gooey pasta deliciousness in an orange sauce. The uneducated would assume that it began with a tomato base, but one bite makes it clear that it's orange from the sheer amount of cayenne pepper. We're all from New Orleans (except Teni, who's from Alaska,) so we're used to the spices, but it's a little intense even for us, and not for the faint of heart.

Anyway, Ben and I have been missing the two of them a lot lately, so Ben suggested that we make some Chicken Alfredo for dinner. So, using some of my new kitchen supplies, I whipped up a big huge batch of the delightful spicy bowties, and a batch of sweet tea--because we always drank sweet tea with it at home.

Mmmmmmmmmmm. So good. I cooked it to Josh's spice level, just to make us feel totally at home. It was fantastic, and just like at home in New Orleans, it made a ton of food, so we have leftovers for days. WIN.

On the knitting front, I've gotten nothing accomplished on Esperanza in two days--I spent all of last night reading recipes and blogs, so I'm going to skip off now and indulge in a couple hours of knitting before turning in. I'm trying to get myself back to getting up early, because I love it so much and I am most creative early in the morning. Also, since I have so much music learning to do, I can get it done without using the whole day, which leaves lots of time for knitting and baking! Although I didn't get to schedule my classes during orientation due to drama with my undergraduate school, (sigh) I do know what classes I'm going to be taking, and I'm not in class until after noon three days out of the week, and I'm done early, which means that Operation Barista still has a serious chance of success! I'll resume applying once I'm actually registered for classes. I'm hoping to work in the morning, which will give me a couple of hours free in the evenings to cook dinner before rehearsals. I'm very excited.

P.S. Speaking of excited: I haven't had pizza since we moved to Chicago (which is both ironic and very, very sad.) I am making that pizza soon, and it's going to be AMAZING.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, Thanksgiving is suddenly here. I'm not sure when that happened. But, I'm certainly glad it's here. I'm getting some free time, which is so nice. I will be using a good bit of the break to finish up my grad school applications and get started on a couple of papers, but for today I am taking a well-deserved break. I got to work on my Holden a little yesterday, but I'm expecting to hit it really hard today.

In other news, Ben and I received a lovely holiday surprise yesterday. I was at my house, knitting on Holden and waiting for Ben to pick me up, when I got a phone call from him. He told me that on the way over, he narrowly avoided hitting a bunny who darted across the road in front of his truck. He was in the empty lot that the bunny had run into, and asked me to come over and see if I could get him to come to me. So, I drove over with a baggie of baby carrots in my pocket. When I got there, one of the neighbors told us that the bunny had been wandering around in the neighborhood for at least a month, and that they had been leaving food outside of their house for him. They said they had tried to catch him, but he was too fast, and they wished us luck.

So, I sat down in the lot near the bunny, and eventually he came close and ate some of the carrots, but he would run away if I touched him. After a while, I ran out of carrots, and he still hadn't warmed up to me much. So, Ben and I sort of gently stalked him around the lot, talking to him, keeping him calm. After rescuing him out of the street several times, and pursuing him for almost an hour, we were getting pretty discouraged. But then, I managed to move very quickly, and I scooped him up! Then, we brought him home and set him up with some cedar shavings and food.



Meet Spook!

He's still a little nervous (hence the name) but I think he'll warm up to us soon when he realizes he's home and safe. I've always wanted a bunny, but I haven't bought one for various reasons. But, I guess the cosmos decided the if I couldn't be brought to the bunny, that the bunny would be brought to me! This is going to be an adventure.

I hope everyone is having a lovely, relaxing holiday. I'm off to work on Holden, drink some wine, and eat some turkey!

The Right Direction

Hello all. Suddenly, it's been almost a month since I made a post. I haven't been knitting much, because my job's been keeping me really busy. But, I've made a lot of changes in the past few days, including leaving that job, and now I'm moving in a direction that is much better for me.

So, today I did pretty much nothing but work on my Mara. I watched two of my favorite movies to knit to, Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley.

The garter stitch is taking a long time, but I know I'm going to love the finished product. I have four balls of Palette, which I was originally going to use to make 198 Yards of Heaven. However, that project stayed in hibernation for a really long time, because the pattern was driving me insane. I had named that shawl "Welcome to Blue Heaven" in reference to the anime Outlaw Star. After frogging the shawl, I decided that I still wanted the anime reference, so the Mara's name is Melfina, after the main female character from the same anime. I named it after her because she is pretty much identified with the color blue for most of the show:



I'm not sure if I'm going to use three of the balls or all four, but I plan to make it big, almost cape-like, so I can wear it as an outer layer. I'm about a quarter into the second ball, so I have a while to go. I'll take a picture outside tomorrow, while Ben and I enjoy an adventure-filled day in town.

More soon! I have a feeling I'll be knitting a lot.

Doing Things Right

It has been so long since I've posted on my blog that I almost couldn't remember how to log in. When classes resumed, my life got so busy and stressful that I haven't finished more than a couple of projects. However, last night I realized something that really reset my perspective. I usually knit to relax, help relieve stress, and to enjoy myself. However, I have been turning away from my knitting over and over again because the lace is too complicated for my tired mind and eyes. Last night, we were passing by a Michael's, and I suddenly decided that I needed something. I went in and bought a ball of wool and some aluminum straights, and cast on a garter stitch scarf on the spot. After knitting about ten rows, I had everything all figured out.

I am officially resigning from the Ten Shawls in 2010 Challenge. When I started working on that scarf, I had red flags waving in my brain, telling me that I'd never get the four remaining shawls done if I wasted my time making something else. I beat myself up about it for a while, and then realized that the whole reason that I knit has gone out the window for the past few months, all because I've been pressuring myself over this challenge.




This school year has been the most stressful one yet, and I certainly don't need to be spending my free time freaking out about having to knit four more shawls before midnight on New Year's Eve. Also, I'd rather work at my own pace on complex shawls that I love than churn out four more simple ones just for the sake of completing the challenge--that's not what it's about. So, instead of trying all the way to the end and failing, I am acknowledging that this is what is best for me and my mental health, and I am making my garter stitch scarf. After that, I'm dreaming of mittens and socks and maybe a sweater. The moment I gave myself permission to stop stressing over the shawls, I remembered why I love to knit.

So, I'm going to return to the stress-relieving creative outlet that knitting is supposed to be. I don't know why I took so long to figure this out. I feel better already.

Look for some posts soon with older projects that haven't made it up yet. I hope that everyone is well, and that at least a few people still check my blog!

Weaving in Loose Ends

To put it simply, I had a strange childhood. Due to this, I missed out on a few things that many would consider essential.

This weekend, in a strange and wonderful turn of events, I was able to "weave in" a few loose ends.

We wound up on Ship Island, and by the end of the day, I had seen and swam at a beach, flown a kite, and built a sand castle--all of which were things that had been on my to-do list for the past twenty years.





These pictures did not come out very well, which is unfortunate, because this dragon looked so cool in person!





Later that night, we returned home and went to the midnight showing of Tommy Wiseau's The Room at the Prytania Theatre. If you don't know about this movie, find out. Unless you're faint of heart. Then, don't. You may die of disappointment.

All in all, this day was one of the best days of my life.

As far as knitting is concerned, I'm still working on Blue Heaven. But, if you look to the right, you'll notice that things are disappearing from my WIPS! I have been frogging what needs to be frogged, and I'm about to finally block and sew the button on that crocheted cowl! Soon, only my actual works in progress will be listed as wips!

I'll be back soon, hopefully with pictures of finished things! I have socks to make for my best friend's birthday, as well.

A Night With Ishbel--Creative Burnthrough

Night before last, I did something which really helps me when I'm overloaded with stress, or my sleep cycle is messed up, or really if there's anything wrong that I don't know how to cope with. A cure all, my "creative burnthough" is something that I turn to when I need to purge excess negativity. Instead of letting it stress me, and keep me awake at night, I stop everything and focus on an unfinished craft, until nothing else matters. I work until it is finished (no matter how long it takes) and then collapse, exhausted, into a deep and perfect sleep. I have never done this intentionally before, but I realized the other night that it was really what I needed. So, I sat down with Ishbel, only halfway through the first repeat of the A section of lace, at 11pm. I watched (listened to) V for Vendetta, Fight Club, Memoirs of a Geisha, Only You, and Pride and Prejudice.

By then, my little triangle of stockinette had turned from this:



Into this:



I wasn't quite exhausted yet, so I decided to block her. But then, I found a dropped stitch, which I will assume happened one of the four times that binding off turned into nodding off. I had already blocked the shawl when I found the error, so I had to wait for her to dry. So, I took a 45 minute nap--which was interrupted by at least three phone calls. When she was dry, I took her down, dug out the ends (my least favorite part) and then tinked the bind-off to the mistake (this part happened in an IHOP, while my boyfriend and three male friends had a cheery time. I was a little stormcloud sitting in the middle of the booth, grumpily tinking the bind-off, then growing angrier still when, in my exhaustion, I forgot to stop tinking after I fixed the mistake, and tinked way more than I needed to. Then, I finally got the bind-off done correctly (although I bound off the repaired half with a different sized needle than I bound off the other half with, which I was concerned would be a problem. It wasn't.) After all this, I reblocked my Ishbel last night, before finally lying down for a long, uninterrupted night of solid and blissful sleep.

I woke up to this:





I'd say that a single dropped stitch was getting off easy, considering I pulled an all nighter to knit lace.

The Details:
Pattern: Ishbel by Ysolda Teague (rav link)
Yarn: Old Maiden Aunt Alpaca/Merino 4ply in the Limited Edition Ysolda colorway, purchased at Old Maiden Aunt
Needles: 4.0 mm Harmony Circulars
The Commentary:
This shawl is fantastic. Now I know why it's so popular! Ysolda has written this pattern that is so easy to read, and the shawl just grows and grows so quickly! It was clear enough for me to understand easily, even at 4am. I love the finished product, and I know that I will wear it often. I can't wait to make a bigger version, hopefully with the lovely pink laceweight that Ysolda used! I knew that I had more than enough yarn to do the small version, but not enough to do the large version, so I have a bit of this yarn left, which I intend to use in conjunction with more of Lilith's beautiful yarn. I will be shopping at Old Maiden Aunt again.
What a wonderful project, all around! I'm very satisfied with it, and the 'creative burnthrough' that produced it. Some things always work.

Travels

My Traveling Woman is finished.





The Details:
Pattern:Traveling Woman by Liz Abinanthe
Yarn: Knitpicks Palette in "Fairy Tale"
Needles: US 5 KA Bamboo Circulars for the body, US 8 KA Bamboo Circulars for the bind off. (I'm really glad I did this, my bind off had tons of stretch.)


When I cast on for this shawl, I planned for it to be a clever project while on my trip to Memphis to perform the Brahms requiem with the choir. A fourteen hour round trip, my knitter friend Amanda (bicyclefairy on Ravelry) at my side, I figured I'd be nearly done by the time I got home, and I'd be able to say that I made "Traveling Woman" on my trip.



Well, first of all, this shawl took me two months to finish, partially because it was the hardest thing I've made so far, and partially because I've been busier than I've ever been in my life. There was a great deal of physical journeying before it was done.

However, I had no idea when I started this project how much of a mental and emotional journey I would go though before I bound off. In the course of this shawl, I performed two requiems, an opera, and Carmina Burana. The Brahms requiem changed my life. I came home from Memphis a new and better musician, and my eyes were permanently open to why I do what I do. The independence of the trip was needed, especially since I had some family problems a few days beforehand. I think, in some ways, the problems that I was having before I left were really what sparked the change in mindset.



Anyway, I feel like all of the things that have gone on in the past few months have changed the way I think. I am a much better performer now, because I've finally figured out how I feel about my career. I have also figured out how I feel about people in my life that have brought me nothing but sorrow.



I've spent much of the last two years missing my friends, because I "don't have time" to see them. Well, I've been making time.






and it's been amazing.





I also sat back and really assessed what in my life makes me happy, and what doesn't. As a result, this will be the first summer of my adult life that I will not be working myself to death at a place where I am both unappreciated and unsatisfied.

This summer will be a summer of knitting, books, movies, and most importantly, friends. I'm not going to be wasting any more of my time.

As happy as I am, both with the shawl and my revelations, I bound off in sadness, because I found out last night that a dear friend of mine will be having heart surgery on Monday. He is elderly, and this will be hard, no matter what the outcome. I have been praying for him day and night, and I hope that anyone inclined to pray who reads this will also offer their prayers for Mr. Bill Thomas.



So, as I sit now with my Traveling Woman wrapped around my shoulders, I know that it was not physical travels that lay before me, but a journey to a better realization of who I am, and what's truly important to me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

The past couple of weeks have been a whirling race to the finish line, to the end, to the beginning of the eternal weekend that is summer.

The opera is on Monday. After that, a presentation, exams, and I'm done.

Not only am I done, but this summer will be the first real summer of freedom for six years. The last time I had a summer of freedom, I was pretty much a child. I decided that how I usually spend my summers has really not been good for me for quite a few summers now, and I'm ready to be free of that and have a summer of relaxation and actually doing things that I want to do.

There have been many revelations as of late, and life is getting pretty great from where I stand. I just have to get through these last few crazy things.

When the opera's over, there will be much posting of pictures and telling of stories. I promise, I will be back soon, with tales of victory.

Oh--and I finally saw Blade Runner today. It was awesome.

New Growth

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it?

Spring is springing, and many things are happily growing.






Other things have already grown up, and their happy colors greeted me at the stage door.






...and some things...















Are all grown up, and keeping the chill away.





The facts:

Pattern: Simple Things by Mary-Heather Cogar

Yarn: One skein (440yds) of Malabrigo Sock in "Archangel". I had a teensy bit left over when I was done.

Needles: No. 3/3.25 KA Bamboo Circulars

My Thoughts: I added several repeats of the garter eyelet ridge to accommodate the nearly 100 yds of extra yarn than the pattern called for. The pattern is for a skein of Pagewood Farms Aleyska, which is about 350 yds. This shawl was a challenge, because it introduced about a billion things that I had never done before:

-yarn-overs
-circular needles
-k2tog
-working with natural fibers and bamboo (I was prepared for it to be better than acrylic and aluminum, but I wasn't prepared for how much better.)
-Picking up dropped yarn-overs
-Picking up mistakes from rows down and correcting them without ripping out the work. (I felt like a rock star, big time, when this happened.)
-Blocking natural fiber, knitted.
-Blocking with blocking wires.


This is not a shawl. It is a flag of victory.