The Ballad of the Red Knight

Once upon a time, there was a knitting princess. She lived in a kingdom with lots of yarn. One warm day, after finishing all of her work, the Princess sat down to work on her latest project, a pair of mittens (which was an odd choice, for it was the month of June). However, when she was about to begin, she realized that one of her six Royal Double-Pointed Needles was missing! The Princess always knitted pairs of things simultaneously, in an effort to avoid Second-Mitten Syndrome, and so the sixth needle was crucial to the completion of the project! The Princess thought and thought, and realized that she must have dropped the needle in the faraway kingdom of Uptown, which she visited that morning to take a lesson from the Music Master who resided there. The Princess sent correspondence to the kingdom of Uptown, and although a search party was sent out, the needle could not be found. However, the Princess was not ready to give up, convinced that the tiny needle was lying, overlooked, somewhere within that kingdom. Unfortunately, the Princess was exceedingly tired from her hectic week and the previous journey that she made Uptown that very morning, and her powers were drained. After pondering her dilemma for a moment, she had a brilliant idea.



The Princess decided that she would call upon the Red Knight to help her find the Royal Double-Pointed Needle. Like all of the knights in the Princess’s lands, he was strong, and swift, and brave—a natural leader. However, he had a special quality that the other knights did not, something that only the Princess could perceive.

Luck.

With that luck, the Princess had total faith that the she and the Red Knight would be able to find the Needle. She called the Red Knight to court...


...and gracefully requested his assistance.


Aside from his other qualities, the Knight was also very gracious and charismatic, and quickly accepted the mission. The Red Knight led the Princess to his chariot, and they set off on their journey.


They traveled far—over water,


On winding, high roads,


And beneath mighty trees.


Finally, they reached the Castle of Fine Arts where the Music Master taught. They made their way to the place where the Princess had last knitted.


The Red Knight and the Princess reached the Hallway of Doors. All of the doors were locked, but the Princess was sure that behind one of them lay the Royal Double-Pointed Needle!


The Princess produced a Golden Key and, approaching the final door in the hallway, unlocked it. (The Red Knight waited patiently.) She stepped into the room, and turned on the lights, holding her breath in anxiety. She looked around, hoping that their epic journey had not been in vain.


There, hidden deep in shadow and overlooked by all, was the Royal Double-Pointed Needle! The Princess cried out, and seized her beloved needle, holding it on high and jumping up and down with unadulterated glee! The Red Knight calmly reminded Her Highness-ness that jumping up and down while holding very pointy sticks was not the safest course of action. The Princess thanked the Red Knight for his wisdom, and they left the Castle of Fine Arts.


The Red Knight was hailed as the greatest hero! He was rewarded with a chaste kiss from the Princess.


And an Iced Green Tea.


The set of six Royal Double-Pointed Needles was united once again! The mittens could be finished simultaneously, protecting the Princess and her lands from the peril of Second-Mitten Syndrome. The Princess was enormously thankful, and promised the Red Knight that he would be immortalized in legend for his heroic deeds. The Red Knight brought the Princess back to her home.


And she knitted Happily Ever After.